Really Sad today

Not sure why but I woke up this morning feeling really depressed. I have the day off of my new job so I should be happy but I cant quit feeling like I want to cry. I am not sure if because I was sick when I turned 40 that it is now just hitting me that I am 40 and starting a new job. This is not where I saw myself at 40, I sometimes think that things went bad for me when my Dad was moving me around and getting married every two years to a new woman. I see my daughter going through the same issues I had to deal with in 9th grade and it makes me sad. I have never been a fan of the Holidays and I hate this stretch of year. Anyhow I am off to the laundromat to wash some clothes and to feel even more sorry for myself.